True Love (oh no, a serious one)
Countless times after a date the first thing a friend would ask: “Did he pay?” And if answer was yes then, “Was it a nice (expensive) place?” If the answer was yes again, then I’d hear “Marry him! Seal the deal!”
Seal the deal? Are we talking about a corporate merger or being in love? Not very long ago I came to the realization that I was, shall we say, shopping for the wrong brand, and have been going on dates with women.
With all the disadvantages of being gay, I thought one advantage was that these people were more likely to pursue true love. They were already taking a chance living a lifestyle far from universally accepted. Why wouldn't they "go all the way" with love?
But a few dates taught me otherwise. One woman was trying to figure out how normal or stable I was. Okay, maybe she dated someone who suffered from severe mental illness. No, I realized what she meant was how financially and, yes, emotionally stable I was. Our one date would make a funny one act play. She kept asking me all this “surface” stuff. Where do you work? What do you do? Where do you live? She only dated women who live in Manhattan and was pleased that I was “professional”. Meanwhile, I was going on a spiritual hunt. What makes her happy? What makes her laugh? What’s this woman’s theme? Could she be a soul mate? Is there any connection here?
All the people I work with are wonderful. Except for one. But I’m so glad that I know him. Its amazing how one person can represent everything I detest. It’s like one-stop shopping. His sons are to marry the right type of woman. Not only must they be Jewish, they have to come from acceptable families. He was concerned when he learned that one son’s fiancé had divorce in her family. None of his children will rebel. They don’t want to be cut out of their inheritance. Every social contact he makes is for a socio-economic benefit. Not surprising, he’s one miserable individual. He goes home everyday to a wife who verbally beats him. He doesn’t wear the right jacket to their country club, he watches too much sports. He’s uncouth in her eyes. As the expression goes, you’ve made your bed… This fellow is an extreme example of the anti-true love movement and a very scary one, indeed.
People choose mates for several reasons and none of them are wrong. Some want financial security. Others seek trust. Some want a great physical relationship, while others want someone they’re just plain comfortable with. But where’s the passion in that? Yes, it’s safer not to be head over heels in love. You can’t get hurt as much. It’s much easier to seek out material comforts through a relationship. But I don’t believe God intended us to just play it safe. He wouldn’t have given us the ability to have true love.
Enough of this romantic dribble. What made me so damn serious all of sudden? I’m not really going to post this, am I? I’m off to re-read “Wuthering Heights”.